Successful Relationship Tips

Good relationships are essential to our happiness and emotional health. Relationships can affect our physical health as well. One thing researchers know for sure is that our ability to feel love and intimacy is what keeps us well. Study after study has shown that loneliness is a risk factor for disease and that healthy relationships have a positive effect on everything from heart to age-related health issues.

Here are 10 tips to creating healthy and happy relationships:

1. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR EMOTIONS - Communicate openly and honestly with your partner about how you are feeling. Make sure what you are saying is about how YOU are feeling, not how they MAKE you feel. Nobody can make you feel anything.
2. STRIVE FOR HAPPINESS OVER BEING RIGHT EVERY TIME - A lot of problems in relationships occur because we want to maintain our personal pride. Don’t insist on always having the last word. Healthy relationships are not built through winning meaningless arguments. Be willing to back down; most arguments are not of critical importance anyway.
3. FORGIVENESS – Forgiving others is one of the best things you can do, not only for the relationship but for yourself also. When you refuse to forgive others, you are actually hurting yourself the most. In fact, it can eventually make you sick due to the tension and stress un-forgiveness carries around daily. Forgiveness is a powerful and important factor in maintaining healthy relationships. However, real forgiveness also means that you are willing to eventually forget the experience. If you forgive one day but then a few weeks later bring up the old misdeed, it means there is still some work for you to do. 
4. UNITY – The real secret of healthy relationships is developing a feeling of unity or oneness. This means that you will consider the impact on others of your words and actions. If you have a true feeling of unity, you will find it difficult to do anything that causes suffering to your partner. When there is a feeling of oneness, your relationships will be free of jealousy and insecurity.For example, it is a feeling of unity which enables you to share in the success of your partner. This is much better than harbouring feelings of jealousy or insecurity. To develop unity we have to let go of feelings of superiority and inferiority; good relationships are those based on a non-judgemental approach. In essence, successful relationships depend on the golden rule:” Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This is the basis for healthy relationships.
5. HUMOUR – Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be willing to laugh at yourself and be self-deprecating. This does not mean we have to humiliate ourselves, far from it – it just means we let go of our defenses; the EGO.
6. NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF – A healthy self-esteem is VITAL to a healthy relationship. Do what it takes to gain a high level of self-acceptance. Most of us spend a great deal of time denying or dismissing our thoughts, feelings and desires. This of the times when you tell yourself that you “shouldn’t” feel the way you do, or that it “doesn’t matter” what you think and feel because “it won’t change anything anyway.” At those moments you are dismissing and denying yourself. Listen to yourself! Befriend your weaknesses and love what’s imperfect about you.
7. NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH OTHER – Go out on dates frequently. Make time for each other every week. Parents, this is especially important for you to pay attention to this tip. Your marriage and the well-being of your kids depend on this. Too often we put our kids before ourselves or relationship with our partner due to guilt.
8. HAVE SEPARATE INTERESTS – It’s important for both partners to do things apart. This allows for individuality, independence (creating less co-dependence) polarity (creating more intimacy) and balance in the relationship.
9. REMAIN DETACHED - Healthy relationships are built on a degree of detachment. This doesn’t mean you are “not caring”. Often when we develop a very strong attachment we expect our partner to behave in a certain way. When they don’t we feel miserable and try to change them. A good relationship based on detachment means we will always offer good will, but we will not be upset if they wish to go a different way.Here are great lyrics from 38 Specials, “Hold on Loosely” Hold on loosely, but don’t let goIf you cling too tightly, you’re gonna lose controlYour baby needs someone to believe inAnd a whole lot of space to breathe in"
10. BE FLEXIBLE – Your way of doing things may not necessarily be the way your partner wants to do it. Go with the flow!

Would you like learn more about how to create these tips into your relationship? Call Leanne today for a free 15 minute phone consultation.